Skip to content

After Laughter

HARD TIMES

All that I want
Is to wake up fine
Tell me that I’m alright
That I Ain’t gonna die
All that I want
Is a hole in the ground
You can tell me when it’s alright
For me to come out

HARD TIMES
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
HARD TIMES
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
THESE LIVES
And I still don’t know how I even survive
HARD TIMES
HARD TIMES
and i gotta get to rock bottom

Walking around
With my little raincloud
Hanging over my head
And it ain’t coming down
Where do I go?
Gimme some sort of sign
Hit me with lightning!
Maybe I’ll come alive

Tell my friends I’m coming down
We’ll kick it when I hit the ground

 


ROSE-COLORED BOY

Low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather
Low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather

Rose-colored boy
I hear you making all that noise
About the world you want to see
And oh, I’m so annoyed
‘Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me

I had to break it, the wars are raging on
And I have taken my glasses off
You got me nervous
I’m right at the end of my rope
A half empty girl
Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gon’ smile if I don’t want to
Hey man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose-colored too
My rose-colored boy

Low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather

I want you to stop insisting that I’m not a lost cause
‘Cause I’ve been through a lot
Really all I’ve got is just to stay pissed off
If it’s all right by you

I had to break it, the wars are raging on
And I have taken my glasses off
You got me nervous
And you’re turning it into a joke
A half empty girl
Don’t make me laugh, I’ll

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gon’ smile if I don’t want to
Hey, man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose-colored too
My rose-colored boy

Leave me here a little bit longer
I think I wanna stay in the car
I don’t want anybody seeing me cry now
You say « We gotta look on the bright side »
I say « Well maybe if you wanna go blind »
You say my eyes are getting too dark now
But boy, you ain’t ever seen my mind

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gon’ smile if I don’t want to
Hey, man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose-colored too
My rose-colored boy
Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gon’ smile if I don’t want to
I know we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose-colored too
My rose-colored boy

Low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather
Low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather


TOLD YOU SO

For all I know
The best is over and the worst is yet to come
Is it enough?
To keep on hoping when the rest have given up?

And they go
« I hate to say I told you so »
But they love to
Say they told me so
Say they say they told me

I know you like
When I admit that I was wrong and you were right
At least I try
To keep my cool when I am thrown into a fire

And they go
« I hate to say I told you so »
But they love to
Say they told me so
Say they say they told me

Throw me into the fire
Throw me in, pull me out again

And they go
« I hate to say I told you so »
But they love to
Say they told me so
Say they say they told me

 


FORGIVENESS

You hurt me bad this time, no coming back
And I cry ’till I couldn’t cry, another heart attack
If I lay on the floor, maybe I’ll wake up
And I don’t pick up when you call
‘Cause your voice is a gun
Every word is a bullet hole
Shot a hole in the sun
If I never look up maybe I’ll never notice

And you, you want forgiveness
But I, I just can’t do it yet

There’s still a thread that runs from your body to mine
And you can’t break what you don’t see, an invisible line
If I follow it down would we just be alright?
But it could take me all your life to learn to love
How I thought I could love someone
I haven’t even begun
If it’s all up to us we might as well give up

And you, you want forgiveness
(I can barely hang on to myself)
But I, I can’t give you that
(I can’t give you, I can’t give you that)
And you, you want forgiveness
(I’m afraid that I’ll have nothing left)
But I, I just can’t do it yet
(I can’t do, I just can’t do it yet)

Don’t you go and get it twisted
Forgiving is not forgetting
Don’t you go and get it twisted
Forgiving is not forgetting
No, it’s not forgetting
No, I’ll never forget it, no

And you, you want forgiveness
(I can barely hang on to myself)
But I, I can’t give you that
(I can’t give you, I can’t give you that)
And you, you want forgiveness
(I’m afraid that I’ll have nothing left)
But I, I just can’t do it yet
(I can’t do, I just can’t do it yet)


FAKE HAPPY

I love making you believe
What you get is what you see
But I’m so fake happy
I feel so fake happy
And I bet everybody here
Is just as insincere
We’re all so fake happy
And I know fake happy

I been doing a good job of making them think
I’m quite alright
But I hope don’t blink
You see its easy when I’m stomping on a beat
But no one sees me when I crawl back underneath

If I smile with my teeth
Bet you believe me
If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me

Oh please don’t ask me how I’ve been
Don’t make me play pretend
Oh no, oh what’s the use
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

And if I go out tonight, dress up my fears
You think I’ll look alright with these mascara tears?
See I’m gonna draw my lipstick wider than my mouth
And if the lights are low they’ll never see me frown

If I smile with my teeth
Bet you believe me
If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me

Oh please don’t ask me how I’ve been
Don’t make me play pretend
Oh no, oh oh what’s the use?
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

I know I said that I was doing good and that I’m happy now
I should’ve known that when things are going good that’s when I get knocked down

Oh please, just don’t ask me how I’ve been
Don’t make me play pretend
Oh no, oh no
Oh what’s the use?
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too
Oh please I bet everybody here is fake happy too

 


26

Man, you really know how to get someone down
Everything was fine, until you came around
And I’ve been chasing after dreamers in the clouds
After all wasn’t I the one who said
To keep your feet on the ground
Man, you really brought me back down

Hold onto hope if you got it
Don’t let it go for nobody
And they say that dreaming is free
But I wouldn’t care what it cost me

You got me tied up but I stay close to the window
And I talk to myself about the places that I used to go
And hope that someday that I just float away
And forget every cynical thing you said
When you gonna hear me out
Man, you really bring me down

Hold onto hope if you got it
Don’t let it go for nobody
And they say that dreaming is free
But I wouldn’t care what it cost me

Reality will break your heart
Survival will not be the hardest part
It’s keeping all your hopes alive
When all the rest of you has died
So let it break your heart

So hold onto hope if you got it
Don’t let it go for nobody
And they say that dreaming is free
But I wouldn’t care what it cost me

Hold onto hope if you got it
Don’t let it go for nobody
And they say dreaming is free
But I wouldn’t care what it cost me


POOL

As if the first cut wasn’t deep enough
I dove in again ’cause I’m not into giving up
Could’ve gotten the same rush from any lover’s touch
Why get used to something new?
‘Cause no one breaks my heart like you

And you kiss me, and you wish we could see what happens next
For a moment, I can forget what happens in my head
If I doubt you, will you come through with a happy second chance?
A happy ending
But this time you don’t leave me sinking

I’m underwater
With no air in my lungs
My eyes are open
I’m done giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in

As if the first blood didn’t thrill enough
I went further out to see what else was left of us
Never found the deep end of our little ocean
To drain the fantasy of you
Headfirst into shallow pools

And I wonder, is it better to get it over with?
The illusion, can shatter before we begin
If you’re really sorry
Happy second chance, I think I could forgive
This time you won’t leave me sinking

I’m underwater
With no air in my lungs
My eyes are open
I’m done giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in

Dive back into
Right back into
Dive right back into you
Now I know you
Now that I know you
Now that I know you
Dive right back into you
Dive back into
Right back into you
Dive right back into you
Now I know you
Now that I know you
Now that I know you
Dive right back into you

I’m underwater
With no air in my lungs
My eyes are open
I’m done giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in

I’m underwater
With no air in my lungs
My eyes are open
I’m done giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in
I’ll dive back in
I’ll dive back


GRUDGES

Strange how we found ourselves exactly where we left off
I know you’re shaking my hand like it is the first time
Are we alright?
Are you recounting all my faults?
And are you racking your brain just to find them all?
Could it be that I’ve changed ?
Due to you

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
‘Cause we can’t keep holding on to grudges

Time is a bastard I won’t break my neck to get around it
But aren’t we so brave to give up our fight
And let the years go by without us
‘Cause now I feel you by my side
And I don’t even care if it’s been a while
I can feel that we’ve changed and we’re better this way

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
‘Cause we can’t keep holding on to grudges

And if you wanna call me up, come over
Come on, we’ll laugh ’till we cry
Like we did when we were kids
‘Cause we can’t keep holding on to grudges

Why did it take so long?
Why did it take so long?
Why did it take us so long to just let go?
Why did it take us so long?
To stop holding on?

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
‘Cause can’t keep holding on to grudges

And if you wanna call me up, come over
Come on we’ll laugh till we cry
Like we did when we were kids
‘Cause we can’t keep holding on to grudges
We can’t keep keep holding on to grudges
Could it be that I’ve changed or did you?


CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

I can’t think of getting old
It only makes me want to die
And I can’t think of who I was
‘Cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry
Can’t look back, can’t look too far ahead
I got the point, I got the message

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
I try to keep going but it’s not that simple
I think I’m a little bit caught in the middle
Gotta keep going or they’ll call me a quitter
Yeah I’m caught in the middle

I was dreaming life away
All the while just going blind
Can’t see the forest for the trees
Behind the lids of my own eyes
Nostalgia is cool, but it won’t help me now
A dream is good, if you don’t wear it out

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
I try to keep going but it’s not that simple
I think I’m a little bit caught in the middle
Gotta keep going or they’ll call me a quitter
Yeah I’m caught in the middle

No, I don’t need no help
I can sabotage me by myself
Don’t need no one else
I can sabotage me by myself
I don’t need no help
I can sabotage me by myself
Don’t need no one else
I can sabotage me by myself
I don’t need no help
I can sabotage me by myself
Don’t need no one else
I can sabotage me by myself
I don’t need no help
I can sabotage me by myself
Don’t need no one else
I can sabotage me by myself

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
I try to keep going but it’s not that simple
I think I’m a little bit caught in the middle
Gotta keep going or they’ll call me a quitter
Yeah I’m caught in the middle

I’m caught in the middle


IDLE WORSHIP

Standing here like I’m supposed to say something
Don’t hold your breath, I never said I’d save you, honey
And I don’t want your money
If I was you I’d run from me or rip me open
You’ll see you’re not the only one who’s hopeless
Be sure to put your faith in something more
I’m just a girl and you’re not as alone as you feel
We all got problems, don’t we?
We all need heroes, don’t we?
But rest assured there’s not a single person here who’s worthy

Don’t let me let you down

Hey, baby I’m not your superhuman
And if that’s what you want
I hate to let you down
I got your hopes up
Now I got you hoping
But I’m gonna be the one that let you down

Oh, it’s such a long and awful lonely fall
Down from this pedestal that you keep putting me on
What if I fall on my face?
What if I make a mistake?
If it’s okay a little praise would be appreciated
Remember how we used to like ourselves?
What little light that’s left, we need to keep it sacred
I know that you’re afraid to let all the dark escape ya
But we could let the light illuminate these hopeless places

Just let me let you down

Hey, baby I’m not your superhuman
And if that’s what you want
I hate to let you down
I got your hopes up
Now I got you hoping
But I’m gonna be the one that let you down

Oh, no, I ain’t your hero
You’re wasting all your faith on me
Oh, no, I know where this goes
Think it’s safe to say your savior doesn’t look a thing like me

Don’t let me let you down

Hey, baby I’m not your superhuman
And if that’s what you want
I hate to let you down
I got your hopes up
Now I got you hoping
But I’m gonna be the one that let you down

Hey, baby I’m not your superhuman
And if that’s what you want
I hate to let you down
I got your hopes up
Now I got you hoping
But I’m gonna be the one that let you down


NO FRIEND

Another thick red beam
Another black-top town
Another misspelled band burning their own houses down
Another pine-box tomb to fill the cemetery dead
Another star, a touch of orange over purgatory grey
Another void to fill
Just scattered fruitless seed
Another song I wrote that’s too long
God knows no one needs
More misguided ghosts, more transparent hands
We’ll drop a nickel in our basket and we’ll do our riot dance
Beneath another burning sky, behind our parented verses
Scores of catatonic smile covered assholes in a ship
Layered by the school, so you can definitely see
Can you forget these things?
Perfection from the paper thief
Perfection you project on me
Behind the window shades
I’m semi-conscious, already sleepin’ in the bed I made
That most unrestful bed, that most original sin
What they act when I let ambition win
I’d hate to let you down
Thrown in a web with all his lies
Drown my dull reflection in a naive expectation arise
Back in the casket park
Back when I felt most free
I few a picture and nowhere God they knew me
So before the wretched men resume
Before their dreaded son appears
My driver’s waiting
So let’s make one thing crystal clear
You see a fraudulent form
I see a shirt design
I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine
You’re no friend of mine
You’re no friend of mine
I’m no savior of yours, you’re not friend of mine
You see a fraudulent form
I see a shirt design
I’m no savior of yours, you’re no friend of mine

I see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes
Realizing what they see may not be even close to the image I see in myself
And I think I might actually be more afraid
I feel like they know the story
I saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat
Twelve years ago, I stood on the shore
Jumped in and grabbed the coat
And the river is rushing toward a waterfall
And my friend stood at the shore and shouted to let go of the coat
And swim back to land
I let go of the coat but the coat won’t let go of me
In any case please let know if there’s more I can give you
If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful


TELL ME HOW

I can’t call you a stranger
But I can’t call you
I know you think that I erased you
You may hate me but I can’t hate you
And I won’t replace you

Tell me how to feel about you now
Tell me how to feel about you now
Oh, let me know
Do I suffocate or let go?

Think I’m tired of getting over it
Just starting something new again
I’m getting sick of the beginnings
And always coming to your defences
I guess it’s good to get it off my chest
I guess I can’t believe I haven’t yet
You know I got my own convictions
And they’re stronger than any addiction
But no one’s winning

Tell me how to feel about you now
Tell me how to feel about you now
Oh, let me know
Do I suffocate or let go?
Tell me how to feel about you now
Tell me how to feel about you now
Oh, let me know
Do I suffocate or let go?

You keep me up with your silence
Take me down with your quiet
Of all the weapons you fight with
Your silence is the most violent

Tell me how to feel about you now
Tell me how to feel about you now
Oh, let me know
Do I suffocate or let go?
Tell me how to feel about you now
Tell me how to feel about you now
Oh, let me know
Do I suffocate or let go?

You don’t have to tell me
If you ever think of me
I know you say you’re busy
In the wild fog of your memory
You don’t have to tell me
I can still believe